I used to get up every morning and tell myself; “A man who wants nothing is invincible”. Something about those words, they just struck me. To the point I kept them scribbled across the bathroom mirror just so I couldn’t walk out the door without reciting them. To want nothing, a seemingly impossible aim to lay sight on.
Truth be told, I don’t know to this day if I could ever accomplish such discipline. But just the simple reminder stirred something in me. It’s always been the things that I wanted that made me vulnerable. The things I desired, that created the greatest weakness in me. It’s those things, that you would forsake all heaven and earth to possess;
Wealth, fame, a career, a relationship with that one person you just can’t get out of your head… It always started out innocent at first, then one compromise at a time I became slave to the things I wanted. My desire for substance owned me, my lust owned me, my anger owned me. And while there were always days I could stand against those things, there were always more days I would have sold my soul to have them.
“A man who wants nothing is invincible”. The power of those words still rattles me. It wasn’t long after I first scribbled them across that bathroom mirror that I began to really understand what they meant. Of all the things I’ve acquired in this life, of all the things I might still acquire, what is the one thing that no one can take from me?
When thieves break in and steal, when hearts are broken, when friends betray, when dreams shatter and wealth is lost, what is the one thing no one can rob me of? Faith. Simple and plain. My relationship with God is the only thing I will ever posses in this life that not even death can take from me. If my eyes, my heart and all my talents are pointed towards heaven, what could I ever truly lose?
And yet, if even for the sake of my faith someone stripped me of my life, what of it? How could you threaten me with heaven? How could you “take” my life when God already scheduled it? I found that the closer I came to Christ the further from being vulnerable I became. A boldness, a fearlessness, a purpose was burned into each one of my steps. A purpose I couldn’t create, I couldn’t run from.
There are still so many days I’m lost, I’m confused, I doubt, I mess up. So many days I lose sight, fall away, miss the mark, disappoint myself, God and everyone who loves me, but I will say this; All I want today is to find the focus, the temperament and the discipline to walk through this day invincible. Tomorrow will bring its own worries, it’s own mistakes, but now, in this moment I CHOOSE to be unshaken, unbent, INVINCIBLE. Then tomorrow, when the sun peeks it’s face through my window, God help me hit my knees and pray for the courage to do it all over again.
Amen!! I struggle with some of the same things you talk about so this really hits home for me.